Ramadan Diet of a Foodie

It’s been ten years since I have passed out from a university. And, soon after that, I started to read, research and talk to people about weight loss. I have become such an expert on this topic that whoever tells me about some exercise or diets I seriously want to shove that idea down their… throat!

I know about all the diets exist on this planet from banana diet to Keto, every tea that has been sprouted out of the mother nature’s womb, all the stuff about toning the body and get into shape; from cardio to strength and even Zumba, is in my brain. Consequently, I am highly uninterested in whatever the magical potion people tell me about.

I am remarkably enlightened about weight loss regimes that I can write a best-selling book, run my own successful fitness studio, record the CD of moves which can melt the fat in 30 days and be a nutritionist or a weight loss consultant. Then you all must be wondering why I am here killing my time rather than making millions and tons of money. The answer is simple: I love to be in my comfort zone.

Am I lazy? No, I am super fast and energetic.

Am I hesitant to start it as a business? Yes, because it is not my desired field.

Have I lost hope of being skinny? Hain! Excuse me! Who said that I want to be skinny? Alhamdulillah! bhae khaatay peetay gharanay se hain.

Then, what is the problem? There is no problem.

I am a 100% foodie. And, when after university, the long walks, badminton and a daily journey in a public bus came to a full stop, my body started to swell. I was least bother at first but when my clothes got tight, I got a little nervous. But how can someone ignore fries and pizza and zinger. Therefore, I tried hard to go on diets but not a single one lasted long. Then I thought exercise is my key to success but I cannot run on a treadmill after eight hours of work and total 3.5 hours of travelling. Zumba excited me; it’s a dance not an exercise. But who will move the tired butt after a long day. So, after years of trying I realized that my metabolism rate is slow and I need to think of flushing out the waste more frequently out of my body than to preserve it like cows. (I know my similes are gross!) Today, I am a happy and a healthy (not obese) person. I sometimes try to be on a balanced healthy diet at which I fail at weekends. But there is a month in which I extremely feel fresh and healthy as compared to other people around me. Yes, it is the blessed month of Ramadan.

When my friends and colleagues complain about being lethargic, bloated and sleep deprived in Ramadan, I share my routine and they listen to it half-heartedly not believing me at all as they are aware of my love for food. The holy month is about to begin soon, I got an idea to share my experience with the world. And, who knows one day I might write a book on it.

It all started about eight to ten years ago. It was the beginning of second ashrah and the monstrous pimples pop out of mine and my siblings’ skin. They rapidly grew and covered the whole face… some were pointed, some deep-rooted, some crusty and some pulpy. I usually make the connection of skin problems with the stomach, I came to realize that the oily pakoras, poppadoms, and the like stuff which we devour in our iftari are a reason behind it. Once I got diarrhoea too because of overeating, what one can expect after filling the stomach sack with chana chaat, pakoray, samosay, fruit, kachori, sandwich, milkshake; and I had to leave two rozas in a row. That was devastating. I minimized the amount of oily stuff for the rest of the days and for the later years (only for Ramadan) I made some extremely beneficial changes and the results were shown instantly. I call this ‘clean diet’.

Following are the magical pointers of this diet. A cheat meal is allowed.

Dates

Like million others I *open my fast with a date, drink a glass of cold water in 2-3 gulps, chew another date. And as soon the second finishes I offer my Maghrib prayers.

Don’t I suffer hunger pangs with only two dates and a glass of water?

No, I don’t. Dates increase energy level within half an hour of consumption. As soon the body absorbs it, the hunger is pacified. This enables us to avoid overeating. So during the prayer, in ruku or sajdah, I don’t feel like vomiting out the content of my stomach. After the prayer, I do not feel lethargic or like hitting the bed. Rather, I wash all the utensils used in iftar and then tea, and clean the kitchen.

Dates are rich in vitamins, minerals and fibre. A significant amount of potassium helps the nervous system. Fibre means ta-ta to constipation. It improves heart health and strengthens bones. The best part is dates are free from cholesterol and contain very little fat. **Even the diabetics can have 2-3 dates per day.

Oh yes! It is sunnah too. So it is a win-win situation.

PS: Ladies! It has anti-ageing properties as it improves the elasticity of the skin.

Yoghurt

The integral part of iftari, in my family, is dahi baray. With two tablespoons of boiled chickpeas, I enjoy a bowl of this relish after Namaz-e-Maghrib. Yoghurt is best to treat the parched throat and return all the nutrients to your body, which have been lost during the day in sweat and urine, therefore, it is highly recommended to drink lassi.

Since yoghurt contains a massive amount of protein it increases metabolism and regulates appetite; gives a feeling of fullness. It also contains calcium and vitamin D which play a vital role in bone health.

Fruit

Do I like fruit? I love fruit. Fruit is in my blood.

My family considers fruit as the most precious blessing of Allah. Usually, people make a fruit chaat in Ramadan and serve it at iftar. However, I am extremely against using any additional flavour be it sugar or chaat masala in a fruit chaat. Why do we need to season a sweet fruit with some spicy and tangy stuff when they are already loaded with its own taste?

So, when the fruit is cut and mixed, my mother (as per my preference) separates my share in a large bowl and season the other bowl for the whole family. I devour this treat between the Maghrib and Esha prayers and sometimes after Taravih (if there is no milkshake).

Water

Water is an essential part of this diet. While we are having Ramadan in summer for some years, its importance has become more fundamental. Increase your water intake as much as possible. Try to hydrate your body with 10-12 glasses of water before you go to sleep.

That’s it?

Yes! At least till <em>Sehri</em>.

Don’t the spicy fritters, chillos tempt me?

Yes, they do. And I eat them too. As I said I am a 100% foodie I do not keep these delicious savouries on hold. just have them in moderation, like a pakora with tea, or a chicken sandwich or a single serving of onion ring. I follow ‘1 thing a day rule’, which means I can eat only a single fried item. Twice this month we have only biryani in iftar, that is an exceptional day. My family becomes carnivorous in Ramadan; my mother cooks delicious supper for dinner. I eat this meal in Sehri with chapati along with a small bowl of pheni.

Do I follow this diet to lose my weight?

No, not at all. I follow this diet because of the few reasons:

1. In Ramadan, people overeat; stuff themselves with random snacks. Due to the notorious diet which contains litres of oil, gram flour, spices, and odd timings of supper, people complain of bloating and gas. And it is really upsetting when the wudu nullify again and again during ibadat. I love to offer Taravih prayers regularly throughout the Ramadan. Digestive/intestinal problems break the tempo and create a disturbance, for that reason I avoid consuming food that produces flatulence.
2. If you are stuffed at night time, you wouldn’t be able to eat Sehri. It is advised to keep the stomach empty so that Sehri can be enjoyed. After all, it is the only month in which the whole family gathers to eat before dawn.
3. Oily and spicy food provides heaps of pimples. I don’t want to ruin my Eid with poked face.

Beside this clean diet, I have made some smart choices which are not only limited to Ramadan.

1. I do not take sugar in my tea. It’s been eighteen years since I last added a tablespoon of it.
2. When I came to know about the osteoporosis, I gave up fizzy drinks. Its more than 2 years now.
3. I eat chapattis of whole wheat only.
4. I drink 10-12 glasses of water daily.
5. In view of the fact that I don’t like the milk flavour, I drink 2-3 glasses of milk in a week.

“When the month of Ramadan begins, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of hellfire are closed and the devils are chained.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Ramadan is one of the most sacred and blessed months. It is the month in which Allah revealed Quran for the guidance of mankind. We should try to make most out of it by spending more time in worship than in a kitchen. Please do not open your fast with fizzy drinks. These drinks damage the stomach walls and harm the kidneys. We all should be very careful about our health so that we do not suffer from dysentery or diarrhoea. May Allah enable us to gain all the rewards of Ramadan and bestow His mercy and blessings upon us, our family and whole Muslim ummah. I’ll also be sharing some delightful juices and yummy milkshakes’ recipes to beat the heat of the summer. So keep reading and have a blessed Ramadan!

*people translate roza kholna as breaking of fast. I do not agree to this as we do not break the fast but open it.

**consult your physician

YOU matter

The eighth day of March is marked as the International Women’s Day. This world-wide event is observed to celebrate women’s achievement in social, cultural, economic and political fields while combating gender inequality. This year it is falling on Thursday. Where different organizations are planning talks, rallies, conferences and networking sessions, I reflected upon the impact these talks/rallies make on the lifestyle of people like me.

To be honest, zero!

I am not saying that the rallies against the pay gap don’t matter to me or the #Metoo movement is not worth it; they do make a difference when seeing a larger picture but on the personal level I do not see a change coming in my part of the world (Karachi, Pakistan). I mean, how can you expect others to stand for your right when you, yourself do not propagate for it. Why anyone would trust you when you do not believe in your own dreams. And how would you care for your family when you do not take care of yourself.

This made me think and I realize that the woman in my part of the world does not recognize this fact that she too is equally important for herself. Her home, her family and her work cannot synchronize until she is at her comfort and ease. We take our mother’s love for granted and demand equal rights for women. We forget ourselves for our family and work and then complain for the ‘loss of identity’. What a paradox! At many times we are not the victims, we are the culprits. So for all those ladies who have lost their ‘identity’ just because they got into marriage and kids, and those who have given their lives to their career, it’s a wakeup call. Hello! Wake up! Find yourself again. It’s time to fall in love with yourself.

1. Rejuvenate

Everyone wants to look good. And good looks bring a lot of confidence. Good looks don’t mean fair complexion but fresh and glowing skin.

• Take eight hours sleep daily; it will do wonders for you. Don’t forget to moisturize your hands before going to bed; you will see the fruits of this night regime in your old age.
• Treat yourself with facials and mani-pedi every month. It is not necessary to go to expensive salons and spend lavishly. You can buy masks and exfoliators from the market and use them on weekly basis. Homemade cleansers, masks, exfoliators etc. are better than any cream which is packed in a jar.

2. Attire

Clothes do not make the man. But how do you carry yourself, it matters. If you can wrap a sari beautifully and can carry it easily, go for it. The click and clack of your heels will look hideous if you are not comfy in it. Always go for the comfortable clothes and shoes. If you like sneakers/trainers wear them. Dangling earrings are in fashion but will look ugly in office, switch to diamantes. Wear culturally adapted clothes which suit your age and body type.

3. Physical activity

Your body is your choice. But a healthy physical activity will be beneficial not only for your physique but also for your bones and stomach. A 30-minute walk is all you need if you are lazy to do yoga or aerobics. By the way, Pilates keep the body flexible and reduces the chances of fractures in old age.

PS: cleaning and mopping the floor, cooking, ironing, walking miles for shopping etc. are not physical activities. These are house chores not exercise.

4. Milk

Women need extra strength and extra immune system. We manage house chores, run errands, work in an office and cook for the entire family. We go through a menstrual cycle every month and produce an 8lbs (on average) living being. Osteoporosis and arthritis are on the rise and our calcium and other important minerals, which we take from our meals, are utilized in all these efforts. We need more. We are the pivot in the wheel of our family. If we are strong our family will be strong. Make it a daily ritual to have a glass of milk and religiously follow it.

5. Fruits

Fruits are the best thing for one’s body. It keeps fuller, no fats, and provides all the different minerals and nutrients we need for a healthy life. Try to eat one seasonal fruit daily. These are valuable for our intestines, bring a glow to our skin, and the best: slow aging process.

6. Gardening

Gardening is one of the best hobbies in this world. Besides providing oxygen, plants reduce stress and depression, and bring peace and calm. Invest something in keeping plants at your place. If you have a large space you can even plant a Neem Tree which has so many benefits and uses.

Surround yourself with nature and spend some daytime near it. You will feel the difference in your mood and it will also accentuate the beauty of your house.

Bonus point: it is trendy these days to have a mini kitchen garden.

These tips will not stop gender discrimination or accelerate gender parity nor fetch pay gap revolution but will do one most important thing… these small steps ensure that YOU matter to you and your family. You can bring the revolution in this world but for that, you need to take care of yourself first.

With love and lots of best wishes to all the women out there.

Happy Women’s Day!

 

Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return

I still remember the knee length hair of my grandmother. She used to wash them with amla (gooseberry) and reetha (soap nuts). I even remember that green plastic bowl in which she used to put those herbs soaked in I don’t know what; the fragrance of that mixture is still vivid in my memory.

She is the one who taught me to recite Quran, I, not knowing this by doing so she made it sure that one day I will be reciting it for her.

It’s been 18 years since she got a first paralysis attack. Her death was not unexpected as she was severely ill from past six months but the fact that one day she will leave the world never occurred to me. Her demise was my first encounter with death. And I came to realize that death is not an end of life but it is a start of a new eternal life; where the value of food, clothes, money cease and all you need is your good deeds (of the mortal world) and the prayers of your loved ones (after your death).

When my aunt asked me, “Would you like to come with me to give her final bath?” I replied in affirmative. Standing inside Edhi Morgue, I first time tremble with the fear of death. I saw my grandmother coming out of cold storage not as a living human being but as a dead body. I never ever have thought that one day I will look her wrapped in a white cloth. Seeing a dead body or touching it always sounded creepy to me. However, performing the final rites of my grandmother made me realize that I know so little of it. Being a Muslim, I did know about the Judgment Day but I have not pondered over it. Admitting and accepting something is different and having a firm belief and faith in something is entirely a different entity.

The death of my grandmother not only left me mournful but taught me some very big lessons of life.

• Today, she is lying there in a sink being washed by her loved ones. Soon, one day, I will be lying there too. And people will be performing my final rites.
• No matter how much money I spend on my clothes and shoes, on my final journey, I will be wrapped in an ordinary five-piece shroud.
• A big chunk of property which my grandfather had left for her was of no use when she was struggling for breath. All the wealth that my grandmother had was left for her heirs. All the stuff which I am hoarding will be of no use for me too. I will go empty handed.
• On returning to our Lord, only our good deeds will be with us. I have wasted my whole life after running the worldly goods and if death comes for me right now I have nothing in store for the eternal journey.
• Descendants are Sadqa-e-Jariah (the charity that is a permanent source of Divine reward for the giver). Invest in the religious education of your children so that after your departure they can pray for your forgiveness.
• Death should not be a hush-hush topic, it should be discussed so that we must not forget that this life is ephemeral. It not only brings people closer to the Almighty but also the faith on the Day of Reckoning becomes stronger. Try to attend the funeral of the persons known unknown so that when you die in return people attend yours, and pray for your forgiveness.
• Life is too short; love all, hate none.

It’s not 24 hours yet till we buried her under tons of dirt, and I am in my office pouring my heart out; already have busied myself in the daily routine. Staying at home and mourning will not going to make any difference to her. The only good I can do for her is by asking the mercy of Allah upon her and praying for her forgiveness.

I request all the readers who by any chance come across this writing, please remember my grandmother in your prayers.

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”

Maya Angelou, writer

Hardback and colourful, Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls is a highly attractive book for the kiddies, young girls, and adults alike. From Ada Lovelace to the Bronte sisters; from the pharaoh like Cleopatra to the chef like Julia Child; this amazing book tells the 100 tales of extraordinary women.

Where the book presents each tale with an amusing illustration (by sixty female artists), it also highlights the charismatic qualities of head and heart of those exquisite women who have not only changed their own world but also the world of people around them. Be it, Margret Thatcher, aka The Iron Lady, who tried for the British Parliament twice but couldn’t make it and the third time, was not even considered. But when she was elected as the first female prime minister in the British history she was highly admired for her strength and determination. Or Mary Anning, the self-taught scientist (palaeontologists) who discovered the dinosaur fossil. Or Alfonsia Strada, who was barred from competing in Giro d’Italia, one of the toughest races in the world, but she did not lose her heart. She raced all the same and set a speed record that stood for twenty-six years. If she were still alive she would have been happy to know that things have changed a lot since then.

All these heroic women from Elizabeth I to Serena Williams, from a small town of Somalia to the Congress of United States of America, have somehow broken the chains of norms and freed themselves from the rusty shackles of stereotypes. Although every anecdote is beautiful and enthralling but there are some that have brought a greater change in the world and have caused easiness, comfort, and alleviation in people’s life mentioned below:

Ann Makosinski

A young girl couldn’t study when it got dark because her house had no electricity. She was passionate about the transistors. She thought, she experimented and she invented- Hollow Flashlight! She presented her gadget to the Google Science Fair and won the first prize for inventing the first flashlight that doesn’t need batteries, wind or sun; just body heat.

Now, this is not only exciting but quite motivating.

Marie Curie

Born in Poland, Marie Curie was a student of Floating University (a secret school). At that time girls were not allowed to study in colleges. Therefore, when Curie came to know about Sorbonne University which accepted girls; she moved to France. She was very fascinated by metals and magnets. She also found out that some minerals emit rays and glow in the dark. She started working on these magnificent materials of Mother Nature and discovered two new radioactive elements: Polonium and Radium.

You know what makes Marie Curie a superwoman!

Marie Curie has won two Nobel Prizes for her work. She could have made a lot of money but she did the contrary. She made her research available to everyone…for FREE!

A Nobel Prize for a noble soul. 

Maria Montessori

She knew she cannot apply the run-of-the-mill teaching methods on the disabled children. She observed the children, how they learn; created a new teaching method, and opened her own school for all children- Children’s House.

The furniture was small and light, and the shelves were low. She also developed special activity-oriented toys which encouraged children to become practical and independent, like buttoning and unbuttoning a shirt, tying a shoelace, eating and drinking without spilling etc.

Today, the Montessori Method is being followed in thousands of schools around the world making all the children strong and independent.

Isn’t it inspiring?

Rosa Parks

She was born at a time when people were divided in black and white, in Montgomery, Alabama. There were separate schools, churches, and stores for black and white. Black people were not even allowed to drink the water from the same fountain or sit beside the white people.

One day, Rosa, forty-two, was asked by the bus driver to leave her seat for a white man. Frustrated and completely dismayed by the segregation laws, Rosa said, No! Consequently, she had to spend the night in jail, but her daring act encouraged black people and they realized that they should also say no to social injustice. In support of her, the Black declared a boycott of travelling in buses. Finally, after 381 days the bus segregation law was declared unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. It took ten more years for segregation to be wiped out in the other states.

One courageous woman and one cause: equality. She removed stones from the path so that the coming generation don’t have to stumble over them and go through all the humiliation which she tolerated.

…and the story to which I personally relate to:

Brenda Chapman

When I first watched Brave, I didn’t know the story behind the story of Merida. Reading about Brenda Chapman enabled me to see the whole movie from a different angle. As a child, Chapman loved to draw. When she was fifteen, she called Walt Disney Studios for a job. They asked her to get in touch when older and trained. She did the same and created a character of Princess Merida. Oh! Did I mention that Chapman has curly red hair! She won Oscar and Golden Globe for her film. 

And now, some of my favourite quotes from the book:

“No matter what the challenges are, never walk away from your dream. The more you persist, the closer you are going to get to your goals. When things get tough, just get tougher.”

Amna Al Hadid, Weightlifter

“Some people think that luxury is the opposite of poverty. It is not it’s the opposite of vulgarity.”

Coco Chanel, Fashion Designer

 “I was brought up to believe that if a person was drowning, they must be rescued, regardless of their religion or nationality.”

Irena Sendlerowa, War Hero

Highly motivational and unputdownable this book brings a lot of strength and self-confidence to the reader. If these girls can, I can!

Some of the other noteworthy rebel girls covered in this book are:

• Ameenah Gurib-Fakim (President and Scientist)
• Amelia Earhart (Aviator)
• Florence Nightingale (Nurse)
• Frida Kahlo (Painter)
• Hellen Keller (Activist)
• Jane Austen (Writer)
• Lella Lombardi (Formula One Racer)
• Mary Kom (Boxer)
• Nina Simone (Singer)
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Supreme Court Justice)
• Virginia Woolf (Writer)
• Yusra Mardini (Swimmer)

And some of the best illustrations:

The Bronte Sisters

Coco Chanel

Ada Lovelace

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Maria Callas

Margret Thatcher

Simone Biles

Maria Sibylla Merian

Margaret Hamilton

Hellen Keller

Isabel Allende

Yusra Mardini

This book teaches the girls that whatever the hurdles and obstacles they find in their way are not insurmountable. They can make their dreams come true. They can achieve whatever they long for; whether it is as tricky as mountain climbing or as complicated as getting signatures on the petition allowing women to vote, being an astronomer, a deaf motocross racer or a blind ballerina. They can change the world. And can pave the way for those who are coming after them. They can overcome all the difficulties of life by having confidence in them. They just need to dream bigger, aim higher and fight harder.

“To every little girl who dreams big, I say: yes, you can be anything you want – even president.”

Hillary Rodham Clinton

This book also highlights the fact that the success of these great women lies in their passion. I am sure that each reader will find a ray of hope, a degree of motivation and a dash of enthusiasm by these life changing stories. I did, hopefully, all the other girls out there will also.

If you are a parent do buy it for your school going daughter. If you are a girl buy it for yourself and share it with your friends. It is highly recommended and a must have book.

Book Habits

The Friday Times has started a section in their weekly in which it used to ask questions to the famous people about their book habits. I was tempted and decided to answer those questions on my blog; however, didn’t get time to do this sooner. But when I found the questionnaire on the Goodreads I couldn’t resist myself.

Q: Hardback or Paperback?
A: Both.

Q: Locally owned bookshop or big name chain store?
A: I usually buy from a big chain store as I work in one.

Q: Bookmark or dog-ear?
A: Dog-ear? Never! Bookmarks.

Q: Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random?
A: Randomly. I prefer that the colours of spines and the height match.

Q: Keep, throw away, or sell?
A: Keep!

Q: Keep dust jacket or toss it?
A: oh I just love the dust jackets.

Q: Read with dust jacket or remove it?
A: I remove it while reading (to prevent damage) and put it back on when it rests on the shelf.

Q: Short story or novel?
A: Novel.

Q: Collection (short stories by the same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)?
A: Although I am not a fan of short stories. But have read Collection and Anthologies both. I think I will prefer anthology to taste different flavours.

Q: Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?
A: one more page…until I doze off.

Q: “It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”?
A: Although the first one appeals but Once Upon a Time has its own charm.

Q: Buy or borrow?
A: Buy.

Q: New or used?
A: New. Used, in case don’t have enough amount to buy new.

Q: Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse?
A: Though I like to get recommendations but most of the time I follow my instinct while browsing.

Q: Tidy ending or cliffhanger?
A: I am such an emotional wreck that I feel unable to start a new book for days because I live in the last book’s (with the tidy ending) world. A cliffhanger will be a mental trauma.

Q: Morning, afternoon or nighttime reading?
A: All day, everyday.

Q: Single volume or series?
A: Single. Though I like Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Q: Favorite series?
A: Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It is the only series I read.

Q: Favorite book of which nobody else has heard?
A: *thinking

Q: Favorite books read last year?
A: Errr…this is difficult. I read five books in total. And, all were very good but I think the best one was… *thinking…confuse….there is a tie between Mrs Funnybones and Me Before You.

Q: Favorite books of all time?
A: Oh! *sigh…there are many…to name a few…Peer-e-Kamil, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Wonder, … Mrs Funnybones, Me Before You…the list is quite big indeed!

Feel free to answer all the above questions or some in the comments below. I will love to read the responses of other book lovers.

These questions were found on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1162432-questions-for-book-lovers

Wacky Winter

The winter is coming! Or allow me to say it is trying to spread its wing in the late December at Karachi but unable to penetrate the stubborn weather disposition of the city. So what we, the Karachiities, get are chilly mornings, warm afternoons with the bright sunlight and semi cold nights. Consequently, we suffer a viral which makes us cough violently and blow jammed noses. We sleep with the warm duvets and comfy blankets keeping the fans on.

Last week I also caught a dry cough with a jammed nose. A perpetual hater of doctors, I tried to cure my viral by self-medication and during that dilemma I came up with my own invention of Masala Chai.

Although I do take a half cup of tea twice a day but I am not a Chai Lover. It came into my life as a part and parcel of an office job. And, hot sips of tea do offer a timely relief from a sore throat.

So, last Sunday when I woke up at 12:30, my throat was dry and scratchy all over. I went to the kitchen and pour the water in a pot to make a tea, telling my mother about my painful throat. She advised me to add a half inch of cinnamon stick in a tea as it is good for relieving pain. Since I make a very very bad tea, I added a small cardamom too to add aroma and then a few more ingredients which all were lying in a cabinet waiting anxiously to be discovered by me and Eureka!…A Masala tea (Sana’s version) came into being. It not only soothed my throat but helped me to shrug off the late morning laziness. Surprisingly, it tasted so well that I made it in the evening for my parents too. So, here I am sharing my recipe of Masala Chai. Please share yours if you have some other magical ingredients or method.

Serves: 2          Preparation time: 5 minutes       Cooking time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup water

1 cup milk

1 tbsp. tea leaves

1” ginger root, fresh

1 green cardamom

1” cinnamon stick

1 clove

Method:

1. Pour a cup of water and a cup of milk in a pot and bring to a boil.
2. Add tea leaves of your choice. I used Tapal Danedaar. Turn the flame low.
3. Chop the ginger root roughly and add to the mixture.
4. Peel off the skin of a cardamom. Put its skin in the mixture or in the tea leaves jar so that its aroma mix with the leaves and every time you make tea you get a hang of it. Pestle the seeds into a fine powder and add to the tea.
5. Add cinnamon stick and clove.
6. Cook the mixture on low flame for maximum 10 mins.
7. Stir the spoon. If you are satisfied with the colour (I don’t like milky white) pour the tea in your favourite cups or mugs.

P.S: I do not take sugar in tea and coffee. No, I am not diabetic I just don’t like its flavour in both the beverages. You can add as per your taste.

special moments, smiles, stars and sunshine…in a friend’s life

So, it all started early in the morning. I was optimistically looking forward to an energetic day. It was a usual Karachi day of May; the sun was blazing high in the sky with a frequent sea breeze. After giving my thumb impression at 09:09, I marched towards ladies’ room to freshen up myself. Where the ladies’ room serves as a place for a loo break it also serves as a meeting place for ladies of our office, where early morning they share the happenings of the past day and their routine chit chat. As soon I completed the touch-up and ready to leave I saw my colleague Laiba coming toward the restroom. I stopped to greet her. She was looking exceptionally radiant. And, being her good friend asked her bluntly the reason of her beaming.

And, with rosy cheeks and “dentonic” smile, she poured her heart out to me…”I am getting betrothed”. Can something other than that sound so wonderful? No, it can’t. Can any other news be as good? No, not at all.

It was a pleasant surprise. Laiba was smiling, laughing, blushing and beaming with joy simultaneously. She never looked this much beautiful before. The contentment and the satisfaction were evident from her every expression. And, I think this contentment of heart and soul is everything; which makes life beautiful.

Seeing your friend happy and cheerful feels so great that it cannot be expressed in words. Laiba is very happy MashaAllah and looking forward to a new start with someone who will take care of her in the entire journey of life.

I am looking forward to the days when she will cut down her lunch time and will talk to her fiancée religiously. I know she is going to be a little cheesy. She will be waiting for the SMS and calls of that Prince Charming. She is going to wear all the colours he likes and will eat all the things he likes. Her mood will be off if he will not call and will brighten up if he will send her early morning SMS. And, being her friend I am going to witness all these lovey-dovey small things.

All I want is seeing her smiling and beaming always. I am happy because she is happy and her early morning news made my day. I just pray to Allah for helping her in all walks of life and bestow upon her His Best of the Best Blessings. I wish for her a very happy married life and “live happily ever after”.

My Life, the way I see it…

2016!

So I wanted to write something for a long time; a little write up on the Blessings and Hopes for the future, or a note on a New Year Resolution. But because of my busy schedule and a little laziness, I was unable to do so.

It’s May and finally, I am writing about 2016 (ahan! The special year): my blessings of today, hopes for the future and reminisce of the past decade. This year I am going to turn “30”. Oh! The big number. I used to dread this number when I was in my early twenties. I used to think that at thirty people get old. But TA-DA I am not! I do not feel it. I feel younger, smarter and more energetic. I am more enthusiastic and feel comfortable.

The past decade was a roller coaster ride, with ups and downs and lots of bumps. A lot of time I shrieked with joy and at others I lamented profusely. Where the early twenties was a time to experience girlhood, university, and new hobbies; the late twenties was particularly revolved around learning. Now when I look  back and contemplate, I find that I am a better person today than yesterday and have come a long way. The matters of the early twenties, which at that time were matters of life and death, seem a mere joke. I laugh at them and think what a fool I was! But then I feel this is how things were written. I am happy because I experienced things as they came into my way. I was honest and have never cheated. Whether it was my school or university, I enjoyed my each ‘age’. I bunked classes, I wandered aimlessly with friends, I had crushes, I spent sleepless nights in reading novels and listening FM, I was a diehard fan of Shahrukh Khan, I was a music lover; wasted a huge amount of money on cassettes, I played —cricket, badminton, Oonch Neech, Baraf Pani, Langri Pala and all the other games that the kids of 80s used to play, I smoked, I prayed, I cried, I laughed, I loved, and most importantly I lived and I am living.

So far I have learnt:

• I am a very different person from people around me because my fingerprints are unique, so is my smile, and so is my attitude. I respect people for their individuality and I expect same from others.

• The notion of secrecy of periods or sex NOW does not bother me at all. I consider all these taboo things highly natural and nothing to be ashamed of to discuss, as human beings are by default born with this (except some; my review on Fire is a living proof of this). If somebody  thinks that the literature or the movies or my independence has spoiled me… alright! If someone thinks I have a feminist approach, I have. If someone thinks that I am ultramodern, I am. Why do you care so much about me?

• Eventually, I have realised that during the journey of life some people boarded your bus and some left. Some come into your life as a blessing and some to teach you a lesson. I have let go many acquaintances and toxic people; nonetheless, I have ended up with two or three people to whom I can call friends. And this feels good!

• I do not regret about anything. I strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. It is He Who plans. He is the Master Planner. We can only desire; things will occur on His commands and on His wishes. Therefore, I have stopped being crazy about the things which I cannot change. I just ask for His Forgiveness and His Mercy.

• I have complete faith in the theory of Karma. Therefore, I try to do nice things (though many times I fail). When something bad happens, I just turn towards Allah. He is all Seeing, all Hearing, and all Knowing. Talking to Him makes things easier for me and I leave everything to Him.

• I do not take my life for granted. That is because I have been through times when I felt like I wouldn’t be able to see the light of the next day… but I survived (meh.). And these hard times made me appreciate the beauty of the ephemeral life and admire whatever the blessings I have.

• I have started taking care of my time. I firmly believe that I am sent into this world for a purpose and my time is very precious. I have so much on my plate Alhamdolillah! I am a multi-talented person and capable of doing many things (it is a matter of fact; not blowing my own trumpet) therefore I try to invest my time in the activities from which I can make a difference.

• In bad times, I keep repeating this: This shall pass too… it gives me a little courage and hope for the future. If bad times do not last longer so will the good time, therefore I try hard to do good deeds and thank Allah for all the blessings He bestowed upon me.

• Though I do not feel like or, seems like I am aging but it’s very natural, I am aging. I pay a short visit to a spa every month to rejuvenate and relax because I matter for myself. I try to eat healthy for staying fit and fresh (hahaha… what a joke!). And firmly believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

• Finally, I have learnt the art of saving money. I have money to eat whatever I like, and buy whatever the clothing brand I like. I have sufficient amount to buy a new gadget/laptop and adequate amount to travel.

• One of the best of the best ayahs that I recite more than anything else is:

انا للہ و انا الیہ راجعون

Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.

The best thing that happened to me was Karwan e Urdu.

The worst thing that happened to me was… I don’t want to pen it down.

The thing that made me exhilarated was the promotion from the Coordinator to the Editor and then to the Deputy Manager.

The last ten years are really significant in my life and I think I will never forget these years. During these years, I got my first job, my first paycheck, oh yeah first kiss, first phone, read world’s best literature, became an entrepreneur; started epic,  joined IBA, dined in the country’s top restaurants, and I stumbled and failed a lot of times.

Life is not as bad as it sometimes feels. We all have our mood swings, Monday Blues and No Money Days. We all experience meltdowns. But what’s important is we believe, we trust and we go on.

LOC

Lub-dub, Lub-dub, Lub-dub… he could hear the throbbing of heart in his ears. He was well aware of the danger which surrounded him. Although he was not a coward nor it was his first mission. But the hostility on that ground was unpredictable. Feeling scared, he was staring ground for the last two hours. Making stretches and straightening back could grab the attention of the commander-in-charge, who was marching to and fro in heavy boots. His black boots were like the mouth of an alligator, wanting him to engulf.

Commander stopped near his back. He could feel the piercing eyes of the commander. A slight tingling sensation arose in his stomach and started to roam inside him like a wind. From his tousled hair, a drop of sweat came out and made its journey towards his back. His back began to itch, then, his legs and the soles of his feet. He wanted to scratch, but a little movement could turn his game and he did not want to lose at this moment. Finally the journey of a drop ended by being absorbed in the folds of his shirt. He was ready to be caught by his collar…1, 2, 3… ahhh! He sighed in relief. The commander was not aware of his presence or of the tool hidden inside his sock. As soon the commander went away, his itching vanished somewhere in the air.

Someone came and whispered in the commander’s ear. It was a right time for him to see his ally from the tail of his eyes. His companion seemed dejected and disappointed, as he was sure of the failure of their mission. Oh damn! He said in his heart. He did not like the expression of his friend’s face. They were doing it for their whole life and it was the last time they were attempting this task. After this, they would never be troubled. They were about to break the door of the cage, then, they would be free like birds flying high in the sky without the danger of being hunted. It was a matter of life and death. He could not afford to turn back now. He had to cross that line of control else how would he face his friends and society? He had to do that for the sake of his father’s dignity, for his mother’s pleasure. He could not stand the failure.

Finally, he made a decision. He sat straight, moved his head to see his partner face to face, with the sparkles in his eyes and a victorious smile on the lips. His partner was no longer his partner. The stars in his eyes have already switched off as he has given up hope of triumph. Suddenly a color came on his faded cheeks and his eyes grew wide in horror as he saw his brave and bold friend leaned forward and took out a tool out of his sock.

He unfolded the micro, set it among the answer sheet and started copying answer. His writing hand was running like an untamed mare but… it had to stop because of the impediment. The invigilator got him red-handed and snatched his tool. Obviously, he did not care about his mother’s pleasure or father’s dignity. It was not his concern that what story that ‘CHEATER’ would tell his future children and grandchildren about being flung in Physics. He was in-charge of that Examination Hall and he could not let any boy to cross his Line Of Control.

Fire

Written and directed by Deepa Mehta, FIRE is a story of two women torn between the customs and traditions, and desires. I found FIRE while skimming through the list of Best Art Movies. Since Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das both are seasoned and polished actresses I thought that it must be a delight to see both of them together; and I do not regret.

Fire is a first movie which moved me so much that I couldn’t resist writing about it. It forced me to think about the certain facts on which I have never pondered over. The realities it showed were never important to think or talk of for me. But I don’t want to talk about this movie as a movie, rather I would like to shed light on the ideas which Mehta perceived and tried to show her audience. And I must say she has done her job very well.

FIRE revolves around the family of two brothers, Ashok and Jatin, and their wives, Radha (Shabana Azmi) and Sita (Nandita Das) respectively. The pivot in the wheel of this story is a carnal desire which every living being crave for. Both the women are sick and tired of their husband’s rigid and ignorant behavior. Azmi and Das have done justice to their characters. Azmi portrayed the role of the devoted wife whose life is caged in the daily routine of the four-walled house. Her responsibility is to fulfill the duties of her husband without arguments. And this has affected her so badly that she has become a puppet whose strings are in the hands of her husband. While Das represents a young woman who wants her husband’s love. Unlike Radha, she is funny and lively. She likes to explore and wants to fly as a bird.

Though Sita is newly married, her husband is distant and show no emotional attachment to her which a young newly married woman demands. This leads Sita closer to her sister-in-law Radha, whose husband hasn’t slept with her for past thirteen years. Together they board on a journey which brings happiness and joy in their lives, which is not only momentary but enduring. When Sita unshackles the iron chains of rusty and rotten norms and chooses to go with the flow, Radha finds her lost solace in Sita and becomes an embodiment of love and care to her. They find their love in each other. And realize that it’s not bad if they want to live their lives. So they develop a sexual relationship between themselves and enjoy the company of each other, until one day their servant Mundu discloses their little secret to Ashok.

FIRE has been said a movie on homosexuality and has received protests from its countrymen; however, I cannot say, was it a beauty the way Mehta depicted the story or the splendid performance of Azmi and Das that not for a single moment I focused on the “core problem” i.e the same sex relationship. Rather I was tangled into the situation of women in our society. FIRE has raised many questions on our society, our norms and customs and, on the people of so-called feminist approach as well. It was not homosexuality which made people furious. People protested and reacted because FIRE slapped hard and showed them mirror that how ugly and selfish we become to fulfill our desires that we do not care about the people around us. Ashok was selfish as he wanted to attain spirituality by shunning the physical desires and by doing so he pushed his wife into the deep dark cave of loneliness and distress. Jatin loved someone else therefore, he never paid any attention to the new girl in his life. He consummated the marriage as it was his duty and never said a single word of love to Sita. It shattered Sita into little pieces. To satisfy his desires Mundu watched porn and masturbated in front of Biji without recognizing the agony and pain through which Biji must have gone through. It was the prejudice of our society that people got mad and hold dialogues to discourage freedom of speech, to reject freedom to live and love, to refuse the fact that women also have physical desires.

I am not advocating that homosexuality should be given space in our society nor I am saying that this is normal. Homosexuality is by all means is haram (forbidden) in my religion and I am not writing this piece as an encouragement for the homosexuals or justifying the steps of Sita and Radha.

Ashok confronts Radha,

What I saw in the bedroom is a sin in the eyes of god and men. Desires bring ruin.

And, I truly agree to this and against all the relationship other than of man and woman.

But, the idea I am trying to put forth is why in the South Asian society sex is deemed a ‘man thing’ and considered a taboo for women. Why our society does not blame a husband having an extramarital relationship and crushes the soul of a woman who cannot suppress her desires which are instil in her by God? Why the society did not held dialogues for those pakhandi (phoney) Swamiji whose stinking and hollow teachings destroyed the personality of Radha? Why we as a society suffocate the desires of a woman?  Why even in this age we cannot settle on a simple thing that women also have an urge for the physical pleasures as men do. Rather than opposing the relationship of two women, can’t we discuss peacefully the root of this so that, no Radha and Sita have to take this step in future. I object in calling FIRE a homosexual movie. Radha and Sita were not homosexuals they were driven by the disappointment in their husbands, having no choice; they found refuge in the best possible/available option.

Mehta also portrayed that though pleasurable but the relationship of Sita and Radha was wrong. We see Radha confronting the serpents of her desires which have already engulfed her.

You know Mundu did what give him pleasure. He thought only about himself. Not about Biji, not about any of us. Is it so bad to be that selfish? Are we not also different from him? It scares me.

Don’t let that little rat terrorize you.

No, it is not that. This is unfamiliar for me. This awareness of needs…of desires.

Nonetheless, Radha was weaker than Sita and was afraid to take a step and run away from the moldy norms of her dull and barren life with her husband, she could not leave Sita as she reveals to her husband:

Without desire I was dead. Without desire there is no point in living. And you know what else? I desire to live. I desire Sita. I desire her warmth, her compassion… her body. I desire to live again.

Suddenly, the masculinity of Ashok wakes up from a deep slumber and he starts to put a small series of kisses on Radha only to find out that the woman whom he married has been gone and the woman in front of him is a stranger.

What kind of wife you have become? What kind of woman are you?

And pushes Radha. Radha’s sari catches the fire. But the man to whom Radha gave the most beautiful days of her life and looked after his home and mother pays no heed to save her as he thinks she is burning in the fire of her own sins.

The discovery of this selfishness and inhumanity shocks Radha and I must say the expressions Azmi gave are remarkable.

The movie is rated adult and I give it 5/5.